Overcoming Fear of Intimacy

You will find it very difficult to show your true feelings and self to other people if you are scared of intimacy or closeness. You will not be able to show your true self even though the idea sounds easy. Intimacy means showing your thinking and feelings to others and seeing the same from others.

Saying is easy but doing isn't.

Being genuine and being intimate is more or less the same thing, as you are required to present your true self on both circumstances. Usually we relate dreading of intimacy to dreading of commitment. However, they are not identical. Being scared of intimacy is ordinary. Just because you and your partner are committed or married does not necessarily means that you are intimate or close.

Indications that a person is scared of intimacy:

- To keep back certain information about yourself from others.
- Getting out of the conversation when your friends or colleagues speak of their emotions and thoughts.
- Criticizing others as well as yourself.
- Getting annoyed or not at ease when hearing people voicing their views and thinking.
- Not showing warmth and love to those dear to you.

Always remember that not everyone can express their feelings well. If you want then you can practice on being more intimate. However, there's no way in which you can change the people you love.

You can break free from the fear of intimacy if:

- You identify that you have the tendency to withdraw or you talk a lot.
- You understand that keeping mute does not automatically signify that you are hiding. Even if you hide your self, you can still act as a leader or attract people.
- You are aware that you are hiding and are having doubts whether you should hide.
- Inform your loved one that you are not at ease when talking about your thinking and you want to conceal your emotions. Your fear and uneasiness will disappear if you talk about them with your partner.
- Learn to share a single thought at one time and gradually share your feelings with those whom you have faith in. After some time you will be able to talk about emotions without feeling uneasy.
- In case these points do not help you then ask for the help of a professional therapist.

It's not possible to make a person share his/her thoughts or feelings with you. However, you can decide the extent to which you are willing to share yourself with others.

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