Start Standing Up For Yourself

It's easy to get in a mode where you always seem to please everyone but yourself. Sometimes we don't want to hurt other people's feelings and instead hurt ourselves. This isn't fair. Everyone has to look out for himself or herself. Being a doormat won't win you any prizes in life. In fact, it might just make your life miserable. Take back some control with a couple of easy steps.

Learn to say no. It sounds so easy, yet why do so many people have trouble doing it? A lot of people just don't want to be the bad guy. They don't want to be seen as selfish or uncaring. Saying no when you are unable or unwilling to do something just makes common sense. Remember that, if you do it in a nice and respectful way, people will not be hurt by your answer. Instead they will realize that you are an honest individual with other needs that have to be met.

Make priorities. Once you've started saying no, you need to establish a list of what's important in your life. Think about the things that must take precedent over everything else. For instance, if your son's school play is very important to the family, make sure that nothing stands in your way of going. Sometimes it's just that simple. Don't forget the things that make your life worthwhile.

Learn to take a few punches. It might not be easy standing up for yourself at first. In the beginning people are going to wonder what happened to you. After all, the person they could walk all over and get to do their every want is no longer there. You might get a few negative comments, but you just have to remember why you are doing this. Come up with a generic answer such as, "My priorities have started to become neglected and I need the time you ask of me for something else I've been neglecting." You don't have to be specific.

Stick to your guns and don't get bullied into continually living to please others. We are each responsible for our own lives and actions. If you don't chair the next PTA meeting or look after your neighbor's twins tomorrow, they will find someone else to do it and the world will still revolve. It's just that simple - and that complicated.

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